Memory loss
by ncsgirl
Summary: Seto-centric fic. He's lost his memory and guess who the first person he runs into is? PG-13 for terrible use of Japanese and something resembling swearing.
1. Definitely the wrong side of the bed

Well, admitantly, Seto Should not have author powers. I will continue that fic later. Anyway, here's a new fic with an extremely different tone. giggles  
  
Disclaimer: All the Yu-Gi-Oh characters and part of the author's soul belong to Kazuki Takashi.  
  
My head hurt. My head hurt a lot and when I tried opening my eyes it hurt even more. I rolled onto my back and pinch the bridge of my nose to keep from losing consciousness again.  
  
A heavy foot landed on my stomach and knocked the wind out of me with a sharp grunt. I heard someone fall and then scramble up.  
  
"Jeez, I didn't see you there m- Kaiba?! What are you doing sleeping in the street?" Who ever had just tripped over me asked. He had an accent that was obviously from America.  
  
I pushed myself up and finally looked at him. His brown eyes were glaring at me from under a mop of blond hair like he could make my head explode. I stood quickly and brushed myself off.  
  
"Are you talking to me?" I asked.  
  
"No, of course not," he replied, sarcasm dripping off his voice. "I'm below your station or whatever, I don't have a right to talk to you Kaiba no yarou."  
  
My eyes widened. Either he was talking to me or his cell phone was extremely tiny.  
  
"Why so surprised Kaiba?" he asked. "Forget to add ice cubes to your coffee this morning?"  
  
I stared. "Wait a second, is that my name?"  
  
He raised an eyebrow, still throughly disgusted with my presence. "Man, did you lose what's left of your mind or something?"  
  
I stared blankly. I had no idea what I'd done, but what ever it was it must have been bad.  
  
"Whoa... you couldn't have..." He paused. "Do you remeber anything?"  
  
"Not about me if that's what you mean." I replied.  
  
"Well..." I thought I caught a glint in his eye but whatever it had been was gone quickly. "I guess I can explain who you are."  
  
Okay, R&R because you know you want to. This is supposed to be a fun fic and hopefully it struck neutral ground between Seto fans and Joey fans. 


	2. Fillers make a good story

Okay, I know memory loss takes rather a bit of force, but I promise I'll explain what happened to cause Seto's memory loss soon. Just remeber what the puzzle can do in the manga.  
  
Thanks to the three reviewers! And especially to Dillon. I might try my hand at something serious later but I've got a couple of humor fics to post first.  
  
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh does not belong to me, however I have Seto tied up in my closet and will not return him until I get my soul back.  
  
Joey had explained that I had, as he put it, more money than God. According to him I had more than enough brains to back it up. He was angry over something involving a theme park but refused to go into detail.  
  
Apparently I also had a little brother who followed me around like a pet, but I couldn't believe the last part of that.  
  
"So where are we going?" I asked. We'd been walking for a quite a bit and I still had a headache.  
  
"To your place. It's not to far off." Joey replied. "See? There it is."  
  
He pointed to a mansion that was huge. Not gaudily huge but refined and foreboding. A shiver ran through me though it was summer.  
  
"I live there?" My eyes were as big a saucers and all I could do was stare.  
  
"Ya. I was in there once, but I didn't look around too much." He replied.  
  
"Why not?" I asked, walking through the door.  
  
"It's your house." He shruged. I was going to press him for more, but I was interupted by a small projectile raming me in the stomach and locking on.  
  
"Nisama!" I found what Joey had told me to be a bit more believable. "You were out all night and I was worried. Did you lose?"  
  
I had no idea what to say. I looked at Joey and he shook his head.  
  
"Of course not. I've got to go get dressed then I'm going out for a while, alright?" I said. The house gave me the creeps. I went to my room with no idea how I knew it was mine.  
  
I stepped carefully in stared. The walls were black and painted on top in red were various Kanji and Heiroglyphs. It seemed to be a vast collection of, simply put, death.  
  
Joey gave a low whistle and forgot himself, reading the walls like they were some sort of circus freakshow.  
  
"Quit it Mutt!" I snapped. Where that came from I didn't know, but it scared me.  
  
Apparently it scared Joey too. He jumped and turned and looked at the window, seemingly debating whether or not he could make it and jump before I caught him.  
  
"Look, I don't know where that came from, but I didn't mean it. Calm down Joey." He took one last glance at the window then at me.  
  
"I'll wait outside or whatever. This is starting to give me the creeps..." he left.  
  
In the meantime I found out that I was capable of getting lost in a closet and that all I owned was either business or business casual and every bit of it was dark. It didn't really matter what I wore so I picked things at random.  
  
"Man, do you live in that thing or what?" Joey asked me.  
  
"Hunh?" I looked around and then at myself. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Your trench. Is it attached? Do you even take it off to shower?" He continued along that line as we walked. I had to get away from that house.  
  
"Well, it's not attached so I suppose I remove it to shower." I replied. I'd put it on because it felt right, the same as my card shaped locket.  
  
"Hey let's go to the Kame! I'll bet Yug'll know how to get your memories back!" Joey's eyes brightened.  
  
"Who's 'Yug'?" I asked. Joey sped up to almost a run.  
  
"Hunh? Oh! Yugi. You guys know each other, but not real well. He's my best friend so he shouldn't mind too bad if we crash at his gramp's store." Joey said.  
  
We went on for awhile until the news paper caught my eye.  
  
"Joey?" I asked. He stopped. "Is that me?"  
  
"Oh, ya that's you. You're always in the paper somehow." He said idly, then continued along, but not before I read the headline.  
  
"KaibaLand found to be deadly!" the headline boldly proclaimed.  
  
So there it is. A filler chapter. Don't worry, next chapter will be absolutely hilarious. 


	3. Look at the word count on this chapter!

Okay, people have been reviewing! dances her happy dance Thank you reviewers! You get a special treat! Gomen nasai for the lateness! A virus ate my computer!  
  
Translations: Ni-sama: What Mokuba calls Seto. Literally 'Big Brother'  
Kame: Turtle. It's the name of the game shop Yugi's grandfather runs Kaiba no yarou: Kaiba you bastard.  
  
Disclaimer: I still lack that piece of my soul which belongs to Takashi-sensei so I still have Seto tied up in my closet helping me write this. As he points out, I don't own him or anything else in Yu-Gi-Oh, except maybe the mutt.  
  
Joey went on ahead of me saying he would warn Yugi and his grandfather about me. According to him I would shock them the way I was. I waited patiently for him to return, considering I was lost without him.  
"Okay, I warned them." Joey returned looking a like he'd been knocked down a few pegs. He followed me into the store.  
There was a boy sitting on the glass desk and I had the urge to call him Starfish for his ridiculous hair. Leaning on a wall was another boy, taller almost than me. Lounging on a beanbag chair was a brunette and everyone was staring as if I'd grown an extra head.  
"I told you so." Joey was close to pouting.  
"You told them what?" I asked. "And who are these people?"  
"Oh, that's Anzu, Honda and Yugi." Joey pointed them out in turn and I bowed politely.  
"He really has lost his memory!" Anzu exclaimed.  
"What do you mean? Of course I have." I replied, eyebrow raised.  
"The Kaiba we know would never bow to any of us," she replied.  
"Really? Joey, why didn't you warn me?" I turned my look on him and he blanched.  
"Eheheh, well I would have, but why upset the mood you're in?" He shrunk back against a wall, practically hiding behind Honda.  
"Is Joey the first one you met?" Yugi asked while Joey tried to recover some of his pride. I nodded.  
"In that case we'll clear some things up." Honda began. "First, you aren't his pleasure slave and you don't have to call him 'Master' and you don't have to wear a pink fuzzy collar."  
"Honda!" Joey exclaimed angrily. The two had a short fist fight ending with the only injury being to what was left of Joey's pride.  
"Second," Yugi picked up, "your favourite card is the Blue Eyes White Dragon and you wouldn't trade it for the world, no matter what Joey says."  
"Yugi!" Joey exclaimed again, but he decided to leave well enough alone.  
"Third, I'm not your girlfriend. I don't care what Joey said, I wouldn't touch you with a- a-" Anzu sneezed and Yugi and Honda seized the oppurtuninty.  
"-Thirty nine and a half foot poll!" They sing-songed. Joey, meanwhile, had slumped against a wall and was sinking closer towards the floor all the time.  
"Joey, are you all right?" I asked, prompting more wide eyed stares from everyone, even Joey himself.  
"Um... yeah." he said, shock still evident. Something picked that moment to start beeping and I looked all over for the source.  
It wasn't hard to find as smoke was pouring out of the kitchen. Yugi ran in followed by his friends and me. He threw open the oven and inside was something that would have been far easier to identify before it had become a giant lump of coal.  
"Um... dinner's done?" Yugi blushed fiercely and dumped the something directly in the garbage.  
"Looks like pizza hunh?" Honda said, pulling out his cell.  
"I'll cook." I said. I don't know where that came from, but it earned more stares.  
"What? Have I grown another head?" I looked around to emphasize. Yugi and Honda laughed. Anzu joined in and Joey looked confused.  
"You're serious?" He asked.  
"No Joey, I know I haven't grown another head." I replied.  
"No, I mean about cooking."  
"Yes. Why not?" I said.  
"If it tastes like almonds, I'm going to steer clear..." He said.  
"It won't taste like almonds. Just stay out of my way." I said.  
  
Whew! Next chapter we have a POV change and we find out where Yugi's grandfather is! 


	4. This is it fan girls

-waves brightly- Pixie Stix for all! Or perhaps you'd rather pocky? I promised a POV change and so here it is. Thanks goes out as always to the reviewers. Translations will appear at the end.  
  
Warnings: I think there will be mild shonen-ai... I'm not sure.  
  
Disclaimer: I'm running out of funny things to put here, but I'm sure if Seto weren't going insane in my closet, he'd come up with something besides I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I think it owns me...  
  
Watching Kaiba cook was like watching Anzu dance. Yugi gave him the tools and he just... went. I had no idea what he was making, but all eyes were on him. There was a smile threatening his face, but he did lose his memory after all.  
Anzu was staring like she stared at Yugi no Yami. He was now the furthest thing from her mind and Yugi was looking at her like a lost puppy. Honda was leaning on the wall glaring and me?  
I was trying not to stare like Anzu.  
"Hohoho, sounds like someone's busy in the kitchen!" Yugi's grandfather called from the shop. Yugi ran to stop him from coming in, but he was knocked over by the door. Honda laughed and I joined in a little too quickly and loudly.  
"Kaiba!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Are you feeling ill? Did you hit your head?" Suguroku paused, "You're not after another card are you?"  
"I lost my memory." Kaiba didn't even pause as diced something or other and added it to the bubbling pot on the stove. Suguroku laughed, then stopped short, realizing Kaiba was telling the truth.  
"Do you remember anything m'boy?" Suguroku asked. Kaiba's shoulders slumped ever so slightly and and he sighed.  
"Not a thing." He sighed again. "Except..."  
I was the only one close enough to hear it. In his pause the pot boiled violently and sprayed me in the face.  
"Owowowowowowowowowowowowowow!" The dance I was doing must have been good because everyone but Kaiba was laughing.  
"Hold still Joey!" He grabbed my flailing arm and pushed me to a chair. He dabbed the burning liquid off my cheek gently and then away from my eye.  
"Oh my god, it's TLC from Kaiba..." Anzu was definitely getting a crush.  
"What did you expect?" he asked with a bemused (and sort of goofy) smile on his face.  
"Well, we kind of expected you to... well..." Yugi paused and Yugi no Yami took over.  
"Don't sugar coat it aibou. I'd expect you to push his head into the pot and cook that too."  
Kaiba stared. I mean absolute jaw on the floor, eyes wide, 'I can't believe you'd say that' staring. He blinked repeatedly and shook his head.  
"Why on earth would I do something like that?" He looked like he would cry, given another verbal push.  
Yami no Yugi opened his mouth to reply but Anzu made short work of that. I won't describe the gory details, but let's just say that the Pharoh decided to hide in the puzzle for a long while.  
  
Okay, sorry about the late update. Joey is hard to write. Next chapter will be back to Seto.  
  
Translations: Yugi no Yami- Yugi's darkness aka Yami or Yami Yugi.  
Aibou- Partner.  
TLC- While not Japanese... Tender love and care. 


	5. Sorry, more fillers

Okay, here's another update, dedicated to all two of my latest reviewers.  
  
Warning: Yup, there's shonen-ai. I think... Argh! I don't know yet!  
  
Disclaimer: All work and no play made Seto what he is today. If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, I wouldn't let the WB touch it with the evilness of dubbing.  
  
Was I really so horrible? Did these people who acted so amiably towards me really believe that I could hate someone so much? Why- how could anyone hate someone as much as they professed I hated Joey and by association them? What had I done?  
My mind returned to the front page of this morning's paper. Why would I build a deadly amusement park? What would be the good of it?  
"How can you be so mean Atemu? What if we'd known who you were in your past life, hm? What if we could make judgements on you for things you don't remeber doing? You know that's no fun! How many people have challenged you because..." I tuned Anzu's rant in and out eventually opting to serve up the... well, what ever I'd cooked. It looked good, but I couldn't figure out what it was.  
"Hey! This is really good!" Anzu was the first to try a bit of the rice concoction.  
"Ya, it's yummy." Yugi didn't look nearly so enthusiastic, but I got the feeling he'd eat garbage if he thought Anzu would like him better.  
"Mm mrf!" Joey exclaimed, his mouth stuffed absolutely full. Honestly, that much food should not fit in a human mouth. It's scary.  
"I take it you're aiming to compliment me as well?" I asked with my eyebrow raised and a little smirk tugging at my lips.  
Joey blushed furiously and tried to say something else. His mouth was still full and the resulting sound only caused him to blush a deeper shade of red. I put my hand on his shoulder.  
"Joey, put yourself out of your misery. Chew and swallow." My comment caused just about everyone to laugh and if Joey could turn any redder I think he would have.  
"Man, you really can't say anything nice to him!" Tristan restarted the laughter.  
"Shut up." Joey was still blushing and now he seemed to be melting into his chair, or rather trying hard to do so.  
"Let's go to the arcade after supper." Yugi said, trying to save Joey some of his pride.  
I felt a pain in my head like someone had driven a white hot needle into my brain. For a minute I couldn't see anything. I caught glimpses of something, but I couldn't be sure what.  
"Kaiba!" I heard a panicked cry from two people. "Kaiba, you in there?!" Joey asked, waving a hand in front of my face.  
"Y-yes..." I was sitting with my food halfway to my mouth. Joey had almost knocked it into my lap, but I was fine.  
Thankfully there were no more blackouts or visions or whatever and we went off to the arcade.  
  
Okay, I know. It's probably not very funny. I'm struggling to keep it light, but expect a downer sooner or later. I garuntee where will surprise you.  
  
Translations: Ha! There are none! XP 


End file.
